The day I heard.

I was his baby, he was my first love, and I wanted so much to be like him, the protection he gave was reassuring, his embrace I never questioned, his love I never doubted, his words where golden, and I never wanted to disappoint him.

My daddy the Man I looked up to and respected, the man no monster could defeat…

August……

The day I heard was like non other….

A man who once stood so tall, so strong, he was known as the untouchable, the unbreakable by his University students, and to our home he was daddy, Mentor, Hero, Role Model and Loving Husband to my mother.

He was many and different things to all of us and to those who loved him but Noble was universal to all who knew him.

In disbelief of the news I walked around my fathers house and compound which he started building out of love when marrying my mother.

I walked and saw him, carrying me.

Me trying to walk in his foot steps and yet holding back tears because My father was a strong man, who I had only seen with red eyes once, and what seemed to be tears.

I held my head up high and spoke, I talked but there was no response just friends of the family next to me sobbing.

I reached out for my daddy but he was not physically there, I looked around, I wanted him to carry me and say Its OK, but he wasn’t there.

All these people here, in tears wearing black and eyes so red, so many of them

October….

My mother fainting and being revived, my oldest brother scared of having to step into his daddies giant shoes, my other older brother looking so so angry with eyes so RED acting like he is not crying, My older sisters eyes so red and me head held up high as I slowly walk closer to that box with pretty white satin bedding material. I get closer and closer, heads raised looking at me, finally I get to the beautiful Wooden box with, white silky satin material and looked in…..DADDY I gasped, he laid there darker than I ever remembered, cotton in his nostrils, and ears yet he looked so peaceful as if sleeping and getting tanned, but that’s not at all what it was.

I heald myself together, as I slowly walked away, there was chatter, but I felt I had to look brave after all what will DADDY think.

He was in that box

that pretentious box

I walked away, Found my sister held her tight telling her not to cry, she held me as if she knew I needed that comfort as much as I was giving it.

People walked up and would say things like “He is in a better place now” “Things will get better” “He was like a father to us too” “He was a good MAN” “God knows why” etc….I wanted them to SHUT UP

Before that day

I could never imagine life without my father

The DAY I HEARD I was forced to live without My DADDY

RIP Daddy I agree now that you are in a better place, Things did not get better with you gone but I learned to live with the values you instilled in me, I still hear you say “your mouth will get you in trouble Cindy and then lol” I now see that you touched so many lives and many who knew you felt like you were fatherly, because you were better than good, you were a great man and God knows why you were taken away from us so soon.

Love your youngest Daughter 🙂

My Daddy