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Oh Memories of  memories past… stories told with out meaning…breathes taken yet no life

there she goes again mouth wide open lips moving yet she speaks no words…how badly she wants to be heard but all they see is lips moving…knowing her name and nothing else….lips like mine moving…eyes slanted yet wide enough to see, yet she goes unseen un heard…ears shaped like a perfect C with an in shaped rose petal…hidden behind her hair….she hears you even though you ignore her…you notice her scent cause its a soft scent…its welcoming but yet you walk away….laying on the floor lifeless you recognise her for the first time…SHE IS BEAUTIFUL…you remember how soft spoken she was and how you used to love her then you wake up and she is there smiling and suddenly you see her, hear her love her and appreciate her….ITS NOT TOO LATE

Life from this angle

Life from this angle. If I told a million stories and haven’t told yours then my stories lack meaning.

It was back in those days in Nigeria when polygamy was a normal thing, you married Benjamin Omokaro as his second wife. You were known as the street smart wife while his first wife was the educated one.

You did not speak much English but you could not be cheated in any currency, you were tough, dark and beautiful.

You did the shopping cause you knew
How to get the best for your money and pricing was your thing.

You had your first child and named him David(Nosa…) then your second named her Constance Osaze, and 7more but one passed so you raised your 4boys and your 4daughters.

Your husband passed when your youngest daughter was just 6 going on 7 but your oldest daughter had just married a professor and your oldest son was already a professor on his own so you had help with the younger ones.

You raised your family with love and a tough hand, you showed them that the world is what they make of it.

A young uneducated woman with 8 children, strong and beautiful                                                                                                                                                                 you  raised children that became professors, lawyers, architects, nurses, teachers…

Your first grandchild of over 20 grand children you have was also named David and he gave you two great grand sons,  your second oldest grand son gave you a greatgrandson.

Wow you that beautiful woman that they called uneducated, you were short and dark with all the curves in the right place you gave birth to Giant-professionals, who gave you another generation of strong, beautiful hard working professionals…

I love you grandma you are amazing, I’m finding it hard to process the fact that you are gone, last night was August 21st a day I will never forget, I got the call 10pm pacific time…., but it was early this morning almost 1am Nigerian time you took your last breathe, you closed your eyes one final time, you slept the final sleep, sorry we never told you about your first son, my uncle Dave’s pasing over a year ago, we did not think you could take it sorry we lied to you on his were-abouts, but now you know, enjoy the reunion I’m sure you are thinking once those kids get up here I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.

I love you grandma we all do, lots of tears down here, you were loved dearly you brought a lot of people into this world and in that you made a difference
If you see this I want you to know I love you, and I still remember you bringing me rice and stew with one boiled egg every Sunday for years and making sure my brothers did not eat my food, I love you dearly I was your youngest grandchild for 9years and you were blessed with many more and you loved us all and I will make sure your memory lives on in the next generation to come.
Rest in Peace. Squeeze uncle Dave for me let him know his Auntie me junior misses him, and tell my brother Uwa that I still hate beans

I cut my hair now I look more like you

LOVING MY HATERS

NOW I always say:

you cant control what others say about you, and you cant give them the time of the day because then they would have succeeded

I always say I could care less about my haters because they dont mattter

but today you all deserve a special shout out

after all you deserve one day 🙂

see I am just ME

Cindy Precious…..

I am my mothers daughter, the apple of my fathers eye when he was alive, I am my sisters angel as she puts it, My brothers- baby sister, I am best friend to some and some are my closest of friends, I am IN love with one and adored by him 🙂 ……

But

there are those who love to hate me

so to you I thank you

after all your life cant be that interesting, if you sit around and make me the highlight of your day

see I feel bad for you, you are unappreciated

after all you take out time from your day to talk about me

whether right, wrong

after all I think its time I thank you

SO THANK YOU

you make me feel special

though I must admit there were days I strongly disliked you for it, even thought of mean ways to get back at you, then I decided to pay you no mind which I did well for years 🙂

but then I chose to give you a special shout out

thanks for making me feel so important

you take time out of your day, that you could have spent doing other positive things, time that you can never get back you were gracious enough to use it to talk about me, I must be like a celebrity to you or something, because my life matters so much to you that you take the time to evaluate it, twist it, manipulate, lie at times and then say things so convincingly to those who also have time to hear you.

I thank you, for making me feel like a celebrity even though I am JUST me

I know I’m the most important part of your day 😀

sorry I dont try to please you, sorry you cant be me, sorry you cant compete though I never knew I was in a competition

so to all MY haters and HATERS every where THANK YOU sorry if I gave you the impression that you did not matter

HOPE this sets the record straight between us but I am sure you will continue to RUN your mouth and I will continue to feel Important

ITS a relationship I often forget but if I forget you again come back and read this I am sure it will make you understand that I once cared

sincerely your MUSE 🙂

                                   

was that harsh I am sorry, just trying to give you new material

HAHAHAHAHa

SEED

emotions

they are so unpredictable

gifts can be disguises of pain

waking up to those two lines wow

could it be

no lets take two more oh I see two lines

3more times I still see two lines

lets go Digital

I am!!!

Oh my anxious tummy ache

Oh wow it is

its life

oh worry this is the wrong time, no not now,

acceptance

oh yes thank goodness

its perfect its amazing it is life

Wondering what could it be

a football player or a ballerina

oh the possible names

the lady in the white suit

somethings wrong

worry! fear!! dissappointment!!!

and just like that

Life dissapears!!!!

😦

Oh month of June

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pictures from Google.

The day I heard.

I was his baby, he was my first love, and I wanted so much to be like him, the protection he gave was reassuring, his embrace I never questioned, his love I never doubted, his words where golden, and I never wanted to disappoint him.

My daddy the Man I looked up to and respected, the man no monster could defeat…

August……

The day I heard was like non other….

A man who once stood so tall, so strong, he was known as the untouchable, the unbreakable by his University students, and to our home he was daddy, Mentor, Hero, Role Model and Loving Husband to my mother.

He was many and different things to all of us and to those who loved him but Noble was universal to all who knew him.

In disbelief of the news I walked around my fathers house and compound which he started building out of love when marrying my mother.

I walked and saw him, carrying me.

Me trying to walk in his foot steps and yet holding back tears because My father was a strong man, who I had only seen with red eyes once, and what seemed to be tears.

I held my head up high and spoke, I talked but there was no response just friends of the family next to me sobbing.

I reached out for my daddy but he was not physically there, I looked around, I wanted him to carry me and say Its OK, but he wasn’t there.

All these people here, in tears wearing black and eyes so red, so many of them

October….

My mother fainting and being revived, my oldest brother scared of having to step into his daddies giant shoes, my other older brother looking so so angry with eyes so RED acting like he is not crying, My older sisters eyes so red and me head held up high as I slowly walk closer to that box with pretty white satin bedding material. I get closer and closer, heads raised looking at me, finally I get to the beautiful Wooden box with, white silky satin material and looked in…..DADDY I gasped, he laid there darker than I ever remembered, cotton in his nostrils, and ears yet he looked so peaceful as if sleeping and getting tanned, but that’s not at all what it was.

I heald myself together, as I slowly walked away, there was chatter, but I felt I had to look brave after all what will DADDY think.

He was in that box

that pretentious box

I walked away, Found my sister held her tight telling her not to cry, she held me as if she knew I needed that comfort as much as I was giving it.

People walked up and would say things like “He is in a better place now” “Things will get better” “He was like a father to us too” “He was a good MAN” “God knows why” etc….I wanted them to SHUT UP

Before that day

I could never imagine life without my father

The DAY I HEARD I was forced to live without My DADDY

RIP Daddy I agree now that you are in a better place, Things did not get better with you gone but I learned to live with the values you instilled in me, I still hear you say “your mouth will get you in trouble Cindy and then lol” I now see that you touched so many lives and many who knew you felt like you were fatherly, because you were better than good, you were a great man and God knows why you were taken away from us so soon.

Love your youngest Daughter 🙂

My Daddy

My Daddy

My First Blog Ever-Intro

Today Was a good day, I went to school and got to hear different presentations, but there was one that stood out the most it was by a man named M. he spoke in my Marketing class, and talked about blogs being a positive way of practicing to write better. I have told you why I decided to open my blog, now let me tell you who I am, I am a daughter who has grown into a woman and is still growing everyday but to you I am Cindy or Precious 🙂 PreciouslymeCindy works as well. I am a woman finding herself and finding the world too. I have been through so Much in the 26years that I have been alive and its made me who I am today…… there is so much To tell but why write a book on my first blog……My blogs are going to be about life and that consists of everything, movies, food, poetry, love etc happy reading…..,