My Little heartbeat “introducing Ifunanya, Zoe, Ivie…”

Sorry its been long but I have been spending time with my little heartbeat.

On July 9th 2013 a day after my due date, I got to meet my little heart beat after 15hours of Labor.

I thank God for her, Its a love like non other, I want to protect her from any and everything.

I loved her before she was born, and love her even more now that she is here.

there are no words to describe the feeling so here she is

Ifunanya, Zoe, Ivie…. her names mean Love, Life, Beautiful Jewel.

My very Heartbeat in the flesh, she is amazing so I will go back to her now and will add the story of her birth later.

Zoeless than an hour after birth16582_10152101610659741_1108314218_n2 days old944549_10152101668174741_721271403_nim growing 1011538_10152101725899741_1062130474_nlet me sleep paparatzi 1004492_10152101658474741_768205721_nsleep time 270325_10152128179864741_1603741574_nlol 1146657_10152148980074741_805773076_none month old and mommy wants to look like me

20140317-110434.jpg updated to add an 8month picture of me and my not so little anymore heartbeat.


Letter to my unborn child.

With love you were made my little heartbeat.

I woke up feeling like wow, I have lost weight, and then I kept getting sicker, so I was told to go see a doctor. wow 7weeks pregnant, my little heartbeat at first, fear was what I felt then worry then Joy.

How God blessed me, on december 27th I got to see you on an ultra sound…brought tears to my eyes, from that moment I stopped calling you my little alien and you became my little Heartbeat, what can be closer to a person than their heartbeat.

I looked at you, as perfect as you looked and immediatly started wondering what you will be, everyone is guessing boy, even my mom, your future grandma. the taco guy that makes my taco swears you are a girl, my sister is hoping you will be a girl though she thinks you could be a boy as boys run in the family.

February 15th I did not feel you kick all day and couldnt find my smile, I was so worried that immediatly your daddy got home we went to the ER and you started jumping, guess you were trying to tell me you were fine, but I had to make sure and your daddy got to hear what I have heard twice before, your heartbeat and it made him so happy you should have seen the look on his face. later they did an ultra sound but did not let him in and he was so sad. I left the ER with the flu 😦 but knowing you were fine 🙂

February 22nd the day your dad got to see you for the first time, he was so proud of you. you had your hands in front of your face he still tells everyone how smart you are that you were protecting your face, I couldnt tell him most babies do that cause he was so proud.

Time to find out what you are so we had to kick your daddy out. He wants to be surprised when you come out, but I want to know what my little heartbeat is. we both want a healthy baby and could care less what you are.

you kept hiding behind my belly button shy baby you, but I got to see you.

You kick and punch me daily and I am not complaining cause thats how I know that you are fine but just one request can you keep it above the waist.

I thank God for you everyday, you are my little heartbeat, My very Joy, I pray for you over ten times a day, and at night I even wake up to pray for you. There is so much love out here for you, but we will patiently wait on you, your father is so excited to meet you, he talks to you through my belly every night and morning, your only auntie Eseosa from your maternal side is so excited to meet you that she is going to come here from the UK to take care of you for two weeks when you come. your god mommy Ify is so excited she is already buying you things and throwing a baby shower for you, your god daddy Jyoti Rahman was so excited when we asked him to be your godfather that he looked like he was going to tear up, long story short he is excited to meet you, you have so many aunts and uncles on your daddy’s side and two brothers of mine that are all very excited to meet you, and two grandmas that are more than excited to meet you, both keep trying to name you and you have a paternal Grandpa.

I never had a grandfather so its important to me that you meet yours. sorry you wont get to meet my daddy he was a a sweet loving man, who would have treated you as you deserve to be treated with much love.

Mommy loves you. talk to you more soon

Normandy-20130307-0048623weeks with my little heartbeat


Oh Memories of  memories past… stories told with out meaning…breathes taken yet no life

there she goes again mouth wide open lips moving yet she speaks no words…how badly she wants to be heard but all they see is lips moving…knowing her name and nothing else….lips like mine moving…eyes slanted yet wide enough to see, yet she goes unseen un heard…ears shaped like a perfect C with an in shaped rose petal…hidden behind her hair….she hears you even though you ignore her…you notice her scent cause its a soft scent…its welcoming but yet you walk away….laying on the floor lifeless you recognise her for the first time…SHE IS BEAUTIFUL…you remember how soft spoken she was and how you used to love her then you wake up and she is there smiling and suddenly you see her, hear her love her and appreciate her….ITS NOT TOO LATE

Trying times

them days them days

turn weeks

turn months

a year maybe

now you cant remember how life was with out them days

cool breeze blowing as I sit on the front porch

fenced backyard.

5bedrooms 3bathrooms 2living-rooms 1hot-tub a huge kitchen

that full bar in the basement and more

time to down size the economy got me changing lifestyles 😦

I always wanted to move

never felt like this was quite mine


a two bedroom wasn’t quite what I had in mind

this is not the neighborhood I had in mind

but then I am home

I am happy

I see you and a smile brights up my day

I suddenly remember how Rich I am

because I have you

I have your love 🙂

and just like that I found



and even this home looks just GRAND

i am going to miss you the most hot tub



For some people it takes them a life time to figure out who their real friends are, and some never figure it out.

I am always humbled by the people in my life, partly because they all think they are right, about everything but really because of their love.

Let me define what I believe a friend is.

Friends are the families we chose for ourselves, and they can sometimes be closer than actual family.

knowing who your true friends are, is a big blessing, they are the people you can talk to about any and everything with out having to say dont tell anyone, because they know better.

In high school I thought I knew who my real friends where as I had over 50 lol,

lesson: two good friends are far better than a 100 bad ones or rather associates

Qualities of a real friend… they are there when you need them, honest no matter what it maybe, a real friend will not say negative things behind your back, a real friend doesn’t take advantage of you nor kicks you when you are down.

a few of my real Friends, in no particular order :p

Sam J….. I have known Sam since I was 14 years old, he was my best friend once upon a time, I would like to think his wife is now his Best Friend. Sam and I have been friends for twelve years. At a point in my life he was the only person I could trust with my secrets (other than God of course) we were so close everyone used to say the movie “Love and Basketball” was about us but we laughed cause we knew better, but over the years we have grown, gone through life’s turmoils some broke and others built our friendship. I would like to say the relationships we have with our significant others, is partly strengthened because of our friendship. I love you Sam

Tag WARS 2009

Ify E…. I met her  in an interesting way, (now this is a confusing story so pay attention) she had just moved to California in 2004, and she had been hearing from her cousin who is a friend to a family member of mine who shall remain nameless lol. Okay now she kept hearing all these negative things from her cousin… about this Cindy character. One sunny late 2004 she entered a laundry mart with her cousin and friends to do laundry to be introduced to Cindy(me) she was told I do hair, so I started to do her hair, and each time we talked and she told me she was disappointed when she met me, because I was nothing like what she expected given all she heard, instead I looked, dressed and acted like a church girl (lol),as time went by Ify and I got much closer, we started going out together, and hanging out and till today we are the very best of friends. She is someone that I trust completely and can say I always know that she is being real, she is not messy nor fake. I love that skinny gyal lol

Ify and I

Ms ABI, as we call her, I met this lovely lady back in 2004 through Ify E…. who introduced her to me as a hair client and in 2005 we got closer, Ms Ab is a sweet lady, very smart and does not take ISH (lol) she is a woman that knows what she wants out of life, and she goes for it, and this is a quality I have always admired in her, I love this chick.

ABI and I

I will stop there.

OKAY! My sister is the closest person to me in this world, I have known her for 26years, she is beautiful inside and out, she encourages me to be the best me I can be, I talk to her about every thing, she brings joy to my life, she is the first person I call when I am having a bad day and the first I call when I am having a good day. I cry when she is hurting, I dislike anyone who does anything to upset her, I am very protective of her, I pray for her everyday even when I forget to pray for myself…..Oh I can go on forever, I’m already in tears. I thank God for her, she is the gift that keeps on giving, she is the Friend I did not have to chose, because God picked her perfectly and made her my big sister, I love this girl more than Webster can attempt to define LOVE.

our silliness

US playing around in moms clothes years eve

My sister